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Back to School Fashion Fun!

Although you want your daughter to look respectable those first few weeks of school, don't shop for THE back to school wardrobe just yet. Relax.  You don't have to have every single item in the ready position for cold weather before autumn officially begins, and I'm betting that it's still pretty warm out there anyway. Rather, wait until later in the season, when fashions are a little less expensive, fads are sorted out, and your daughter has a better feeling for what she really wants.

Begin by completing  a diagnostic on her closet. Know what she really does own. ("But Mom, I have NO jeans whatsoever) Get to know what still fits her ("But my pants are way too big for me!") and what still has some life left in it. ("My white shirt has turned yellow!")

Preview some stores to figure out where you ultimately would like to take her. (Do this on lunch break or on your own in the evening without her.)

Develop a plan with your daughter. Decide - based upon what is in the closet - what she needs to buy. Talk about who will pay for what item (if appropriate) and which stores you will visit. Inform her of the amount of money that has been budgeted for this wardrobe, (by all means, set limits) and stick to your limits especially during your first shopping adventure.

Set the ground rules for what fashions are appropriate and what fashions aren't. If she wants to know why, don't say "because I said so," like you did when she was nine. Give her solid reasons she can chew on.  (See chapter 10 of It's So You!)

Go shopping after a meal and while you are both still energetic (or at least before your blood sugar crashes!).

Don't shop for more than two hours at a time. You can break it into two parts with a lunch, or you can call for a few days' "cooling off" period before resuming a second pair of shopping hours.

Let her stay in the dressing room alone and don't hover over her like those annoying "helicopter moms." (not my term!) Rather, invite her to come out of the dressing room wearing the garment in question and affirm that it is never her body with the fit issues, but the garment's.

Remember also to never look too excited about an outfit you love. You want her to like it too!

Finally, look like you know what you are doing: Dress well and smile.

Hey, Home Coming shopping is only a few weeks away!


Mom's Support Page

Mom, this page is for you! It's intended to help you teach your daughters the art of fashion and the joy of personal style.

3 Strategies Mom Can Use to Foster a Sense of Style in Her Daughter

1. Look your best. Don't attempt to look like a teenage-wannabe, but  stylish and attractive for your age. This establishes credibility in the area of fashion. Hey, if you look like you know what you're talking about, you can at least get a footing in her brain.

2. Establish an ethic for fashion - yours and hers. Learn to dress in a way that keeps the focal point on your face. Then, teach your daughter to do the same. Explain to her that since her eyes are where people should look when trying to understand her, her fashion should help this along.  After all, she has a lot of intelligence, talent, tastes, and skills to offer the world, and they each come from the inside. In a way, the eyes (being the windows to the soul) lead right to these things.

Tell her that she is  the subject never an object.

3. Set guidelines and stick with them. Help her to understand that you create these guidelines not because you "don't trust her," but because you don't trust a lot of other people. Have a frank discussion about how fashion advertising, entertainment, and peers reject guidelines or even ethics often because there are many other motives at play. (Advertising = making money; entertainment = a buzz; peers = attention, shock, rebellion, etc.) Keep talking even when things get complicated and she gets huffy. She needs to know that you're there and on her side.

4. Let her in on the joy of personal style. Give her practical tips, smile when you put on your makeup, and become excited about shoes...or something fun.

5. Speak positively about her body and properly about exercise and nutrition. Insist that clothing must adjust to her body; Not the other way around. Remember, she's trying to figure out her place  in the universe.

And tell her she's beautiful!

Want to know more about this topic? Look in chapter 10 of It's So You! Fitting Fashion to Your Life. Order here.



Coming Soon: Great Resources for Moms